How to Find a Trauma Therapist After a Gun Violence Experience

Grief is a complex and individual process

By: Angela Schellenberg

As a gun violence survivor and trauma therapist, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to find the right trauma therapist after losing a loved one to gun violence.

I was sixteen when my father was gunned down. I watched his murder unfold on the five o’clock news in my hometown of Puyallup, WA. After his shooting, there were so many secondary losses that my younger brother and I endured. The loss of our home, my horse Destiny, our dog Nemo, and our chickens all disappeared.

Trauma is fragmented, so there are many things I don’t remember about this time. However, I do remember finding the proper help after the shooting. My mother died six years after my father's shooting, I was twenty-two, parentless, and left to navigate the world without my parents.

There were no guidebooks or manuals on surviving the loss of a loved one to gun violence in 1988. I was fortunate to find good support through the community's mental health center. I truly believe that help led me to heal my trauma, grief, and loss and become a trauma therapist.  I have spent the last thirty-five years healing this heartache. Every time there is a shooting, which happens daily in the U.S., I feel it so profoundly.

As a trauma, grief, and loss therapist, I work diligently to advocate for survivors of gun violence. I help survivors process losing a loved one to gun violence.

If you have lived through a sudden traumatic loss, especially losing someone you love to gun violence, or being involved in a mass shooting yourself, then you know how difficult it can be to find the right help and support.

Below are some things you might be experiencing, and some tips on how to look for a trauma therapist in your area.

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After a mass shooting, survivors of gun violence may experience shock and denial. Experiencing a traumatic event like gun violence can profoundly affect the nervous system and the brain. The response to trauma involves complex interactions between various brain regions, including the amygdala, hippocampus, prefrontal cortex, and the autonomic nervous system.

Figure 1:  How Trauma Affects the Brain (Banks, 2023)

Here are some of the critical neurological and physiological responses that can occur:

Hyperarousal: The traumatic event triggers an immediate and intense activation of the sympathetic nervous system, leading to hyperarousal. This can result in increased heart rate, rapid breathing, heightened alertness, and a sense of being on edge. The amygdala, which plays a crucial role in processing emotions and threat detection, becomes hyperactive.

Hypervigilance and Startle Response: Individuals who have experienced gun violence may develop hypervigilance, an exaggerated state of vigilance, and heightened sensitivity to potential threats. They may have a heightened startle response; even minor stimuli can trigger a strong and immediate reaction.

Flashbacks and Intrusive Memories: Traumatic memories can be vivid and intrusive. The brain's memory-processing structures, such as the hippocampus, may struggle to integrate the traumatic experience into existing memory networks, leading to fragmented memories, flashbacks, or nightmares.

Emotional Dysregulation: The regulation of emotions can be disrupted after a traumatic event. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions such as decision-making and emotional regulation, may become impaired. This can lead to emotional numbing, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, and a diminished ability to experience positive emotions.

Changes in Brain Structure and Function: Trauma can cause alterations in brain structure and function. Chronic stress and exposure to trauma-related hormones, such as cortisol, can impact the hippocampus, leading to memory and emotional regulation difficulties. The prefrontal cortex and other areas involved in cognitive control may also show changes, affecting attention, impulse control, and decision-making.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Gun violence and other traumatic events can contribute to developing PTSD, a psychiatric disorder characterized by persistent distressing symptoms such as intrusive thoughts, avoidance behaviors, negative mood, and heightened arousal. PTSD involves complex alterations in brain function, including changes in the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex.

It's important to note that the effects of trauma can vary widely among individuals, and not everyone who experiences gun violence will develop the same neurological responses or long-term consequences.

Treatment options such as therapy, medication, and support from mental health professionals can help individuals cope with and recover from the effects of traumatic events.

Figure 2:  Nervous System / Therapy (Paraluman Designs, 2023)

The stages of grief, as initially proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, describe a framework of emotional and psychological responses individuals may experience when faced with significant loss or impending death. Ross created these for the end of life. She never meant them to be used as a rule book or guide for grief.

The stages of grief are as follows:

Denial: Initially, individuals may have difficulty accepting or comprehending the reality of the loss. They may experience shock, numbness, or disbelief, attempting to protect themselves from the overwhelming emotions associated with the loss.

Anger: As the reality of the loss sets in, individuals may feel anger and resentment. They may direct their anger at themselves, others, or the situation. This stage can be characterized by frustration, irritability, and a sense of injustice.

Bargaining: During this stage, individuals may attempt to negotiate or make deals to reverse or change the outcome of the loss. They may use thoughts or behaviors such as "what if" or "if only" statements to regain control or find meaning in the loss.

Depression: As the individual recognizes the permanence of the loss, they may experience profound sadness, emptiness, and a sense of deep grief. They may withdraw from others, lose interest in activities, have difficulty sleeping or eating, and feel hopeless.

Acceptance: In the final stage, individuals come to terms with the loss and find ways to live with it. This does not mean they are "over" the loss or have forgotten about it, but instead they have reached a point of understanding and have integrated the loss into their lives. While moving forward, they may find ways to remember and honor the person or thing they have lost. They work to keep the memory alive. Remember, your relationship with your loved one doesn’t have to end because they died. You can find many ways to keep your loved ones’ memory alive.

It's essential to remember that these stages are not rigid or fixed, and individuals may cycle through them multiple times, skip stages, or experience them in different orders. Grief is a complex and individual process, and everyone experiences it uniquely. It's also essential to seek support from loved ones, friends, or mental health professionals during grieving.

Figure 3:  The Tangled Ball of Grief and Loss (LightandSalt Design Co., 2023)

Here are some key aspects to look for in a therapist after you have been involved in a mass shooting or lost someone you love to gun violence:

Specialization and expertise: Seek a trauma therapist with specific training and experience working with individuals who have experienced gun violence or other forms of community violence. They should have a deep understanding of the psychological and emotional impact of such trauma and possess knowledge of trauma-focused interventions.

Credentials and qualifications: Look for a therapist who is licensed and accredited in their field, such as a licensed clinical psychologist, licensed professional counselor, or licensed clinical social worker. Additionally, consider their additional certifications or training in trauma therapy modalities, such as EMDR or trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Trauma-informed approach: Ensure that the therapist adopts a trauma-informed approach to therapy. This means they recognize the prevalence and impact of trauma, prioritize client safety and empowerment, and consider the individual's unique experiences and cultural background.

Experience working with gun violence survivors: It can be helpful to find a therapist with direct experience working with individuals who have survived gun violence. This experience equips them with a deeper understanding of this type of trauma's specific challenges, triggers, and complexities.

Cultural sensitivity and diversity: Consider the therapist's ability to work with clients from diverse backgrounds and communities. They must demonstrate cultural competence and sensitivity to the unique experiences and needs of individuals impacted by gun violence.

Trust and rapport: Building a solid therapeutic relationship is vital for effective trauma therapy. Look for a therapist with whom you feel comfortable, safe, and able to develop a trusting connection. A good fit between the therapist and client can significantly enhance the therapeutic process.

Availability and accessibility: Consider practical details such as the therapist's location, availability, and session fees. It is essential to find a therapist who is accessible and can accommodate your scheduling needs. Many therapists work online and can also offer EMDR via Telehealth.

Finding the right trauma therapist is a personal process, and it may take time to find the best match. Consider seeking recommendations from trusted sources such as healthcare professionals, support groups, or community organizations specializing in trauma or gun violence.

If you go to www.psychologytoday.com, you can search for a therapist in your area using your zip code. You can also search by your insurance and by modalities. You will want to make sure and click trauma, grief, and loss. 

Angela Schellenberg is a licensed Mental Health Trauma Counselor. She specializes in helping clients through traumatic loss, PTSD, gun violence, and sudden and instant death. Schellenberg is a also a writer, speaker, educator, and non-profit executive director, and is currently working on her memoir.   

Illustration of patient and therapist by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay