25 Years of Trauma
A new documentary looks at the Columbine tragedy from the vantage point of a teacher survivor
By: Tom Mauser
The impacts of gun violence go far beyond the victims, their families, and friends.
As the father of a victim of the Columbine High School massacre, I must say that I was a bit uncomfortable with all the signs and shouts of “We Are Columbine” that bourgeoned throughout my community after the tragedy. After subsequent mass shootings similar messages have often been built around the word strong, e.g., ”Uvalde Strong” or “Lewiston Strong.”
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s important that communities come together to heal and show support for those who are victimized by tragedy. But I am concerned that the word strong can also be interpreted by some as implying, “Let’s move on and get over it.” Or, “We’re strong, don’t be so sad.” Or, “This is an embarrassment to our city, so let’s portray a better image.” Or, as in the proverbial crime scene of the police officer telling bystanders, “Okay, move along, nothing to see here.”
We can never let gun violence be trivialized or sloganized. It’s important that the community be aware of how many people can be impacted by a shooting — whether someone dies or not, whether you were at the shooting or not, whether you know the victim or not. We all react differently. Trauma should not be stifled, and PTSD doesn’t necessarily set in right away. And those who are traumatized are not “ignoring” the community’s insistence to be strong.
A powerful illustration of the trauma and recovery of a survivor is the new documentary, Columbine 2024: 25 Years of Trauma.
The film illustrates the experience of a family navigating the aftermath of a mass shooting. The film weaves two separate interviews into a story told through the eyes of Columbine teacher Kiki Leyba and his wife Kallie — both sharing, with vulnerable honesty, in hopes that other gun violence survivors understand they are not alone in their journey.
Kiki was in his first year at Columbine as an English teacher when the tragedy occurred. He relates how he was meeting in principal Frank DeAngelis’ office when the shootings began. He then helped guide students out of the building. Later, he was traumatized when he found out from the FBI that a student near him was shot in the leg, making Kiki realize he also was being shot at.
After speaking at the funeral service for one of the student victims, Kiki began hyperventilating, realizing he would not be able to attend all the funerals. He says he made it through the rest of the school year, but when classes returned in the fall, things became worse, as he saw how many students didn’t want to talk about what happened and how nerves were on end.
His life became a “mess,” at first beneath the surface, then openly. His sleep was trashed, he was depressed. He took prescriptions for sleep and anxiety. Eventually he had to take a leave of absence. Kallie had to guide their family through daily life. She felt as if Kiki had died.
Eventually he improved, starting when he provided comfort to teachers at Sandy Hook and came to recognize that, as one colleague told him, “life (prior to Columbine) is gone and not coming back.” He realized he had to accept that and move to a new reality.
This 36-minute short documentary can be rented or purchased by using this link. If you would like to take the lead in your community to have it shown to a larger audience in a theater, contact me at safemauser@yahoo.com.
L-R: Tom Mauser, Daniel Mauser (photo courtesy of author)
Tom Mauser is the father of Columbine victim Daniel Mauser, as well as a GVP activist and 24-year board member of Colorado Ceasefire. He is the author of Walking in Daniel’s Shoes (Ocean Star Publishing, 2012).